Did you know that back in 1890, the famous Harvard psychologist William James wrote a book called The Principles of Psychology where he argued that personality was pretty much set in stone by early adulthood? Crazy, right? Basically, if you weren’t born with certain traits like leadership skills or people skills, tough luck for you. But nowadays, we know better.
Thanks to some groundbreaking research in epigenetics, we now understand that we have the power to even influence which genes are active or dormant simply by changing our behavior. That means you can absolutely reinvent yourself and become the best version of you!
Now, let me tell you something. In my opinion, there’s nothing more important than your ability to connect with others. Even more so than your tech abilities. After all, technology is just a tool. It’s us humans who make things happen. And if you can’t effectively collaborate, communicate or connect with your fellow human beings, you’re going to miss out on some seriously amazing opportunities in your career and business. So let’s get cracking and dive into the secrets of discovering your inner charisma – 10 tips to develop a great personality.
10 Tips to Develop A Great Personality
These are not just any ordinary tips, they’re the top ten nuggets of wisdom to boost your people skills and overall charisma. And don’t worry, we’re not limiting ourselves here – there are countless things you can do to improve your personal brand.
But these tips are the foundation to get you started on your journey to becoming a magnetic, people-loving legend. I’ve cherry-picked these ten gems that I personally swear by; they’re practical, and effective, and they’ll elevate your social game to the next level. Get ready to soak up these golden tips and watch as your charm and influence skyrocket!
1) Listen Intently
In our fast-paced, tech-driven world, it can be challenging to truly connect with others. However, the most valuable gift you can bestow on someone is the gift of your undivided attention. Becoming an attentive listener is a crucial skill that can help you establish a genuine connection with others. By truly listening, you can build rapport and understanding with others, which can strengthen and deepen your relationships. As you develop your listening skills, you’ll also find that you become more patient and thoughtful in your responses. In a world where self-promotion reigns supreme, those who can listen intently and respond thoughtfully truly stand out and earn the respect of others.
2) Read To Learn
I am absolutely enamored by the wise words of the venerable American journalist, Margaret Fuller, who once declared, “Today a reader, tomorrow a leader.” With every passing day, I am reminded of the profound truth that her words hold. It is imperative that we cultivate the habit of reading, especially on a diverse range of topics. The key here is, without a doubt, diversity. Through reading, we are exposed to an array of perspectives, and our minds expand to accommodate new knowledge. This is particularly true when it comes to the realm of fiction, where our brains are stimulated, and different parts light up like a Christmas tree. The process of reading facilitates a great deal of scenario-building, encouraging us to ponder hypothetical situations and consider the ramifications of different actions.
It is my belief that reading is a far more engaging activity than mindlessly watching TV. Reading allows us to develop into more well-rounded and balanced individuals with a more diverse skill set. It boasts of the potential to enhance our cognitive abilities like critical thinking, creativity, and problem-solving.
Moreover, reading has the added advantage of making us compelling conversationalists, which is always a plus. I always recommend the art and the habit of reading people as well. It will help you understand human behavior better, while also enabling you to identify and appreciate different personality traits.
In essence, reading is a fundamental tool in the game of life. It has the power to enrich our personalities and transform us into dynamic leaders, capable of making a difference in the world.
3) Talk To People
Embrace the power of conversation and make it your mission to be a master of it. It’s tempting to shy away from strangers due to the childhood lesson ingrained in us, but the truth is that we cannot expand our social circles without engaging with new individuals. Engaging in as many conversations as possible will not only introduce you to potential new friends, but it will also challenge you to improve your communication skills.
Let’s face it, theoretical knowledge can only take you so far in certain aspects of life. Just like you cannot learn to swim without actually getting into the water, leadership is a skill that can only be honed with practical experience. Engaging with people is the key to understanding and influencing them.
A meaningful conversation has the power to leave a lasting impression, inspire fresh perspectives, and spark new ideas. It’s an art that takes practice to master. If fear of rejection is a concern, take inspiration from Giang’s 100 Days of Rejection Ted Talk. His social experiment is a testament to the fact that rejection is not the end, but rather a stepping stone toward growth and resilience. So, go forth and start those conversations, you never know what doors they may open.
4) Become Aware of the Tone of Your Voice
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone reacted unfairly to something seemingly trivial that you said? It’s easy to brush it off and wonder why they’re getting worked up over nothing. However, have you ever stopped to consider that perhaps it wasn’t what you said, but rather how you said it that caused their reaction?
During my studies in NLP, I learned about presuppositions, one of which is that the meaning of communication is the response you receive. If you’re not getting the response you desire, it’s time to take a step back and reflect on the way you’re communicating. After all, the essence of communication is to elicit a specific response.
It’s important to recognize that communication isn’t just about the words we use, but also about the tone and body language we convey. Oftentimes, an offensive tone or negative body language can cause more damage to a relationship than any bad language ever could. So, while it’s crucial to be mindful of the words we use, it’s equally important to be cognizant of the tone in which we deliver them.
So, next time you find yourself in a situation where someone is reacting strongly to something you’ve said, take a moment to reflect on your tone and body language. It’s possible that with a slight adjustment, you can avoid future misunderstandings and improve your communication skills. Remember, the key is to get the response you want, and that starts with being aware of the tone of your voice.
5) Affirm to Yourself (I Am Enough)
It’s time for step number five, folks! Take a moment to inhale deeply, then repeat this affirmation with me: “I am enough.” These inspiring words were spoken by Marissa Pierre, the brilliant founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy, whom I had the privilege of interviewing. Let’s take a tip from her book and remind ourselves on a regular basis that we are complete just the way we are.
This advice is especially relevant when it comes to treating others with respect. It all starts with treating yourself with respect, my friends. Learning to be comfortable in your own skin and embracing your uniqueness is key to developing strong people skills.
No need to try and please everyone else–instead, focus on loving and respecting yourself. Trust me when I say that when you do, others will naturally gravitate toward you. After all, as Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” So go ahead and be your authentic, amazing self–you are enough!
When was the last time you hung out with someone who was just radiating optimism? It’s probably been a hot minute, right? On the other hand, when was the last time you were around someone who seemed to constantly complain and whine? If the stats are to be believed, it’s likely it was very recently, as it seems like one out of every two people has a tendency to be a downer.
But let’s be real, who would you rather spend time with? Someone who lifts you up or someone who leans on you for support? It’s a no-brainer, really. The truth is, positivity is highly contagious. When you’re in the presence of someone who’s overflowing with good vibes, you can’t help but feel energized and inspired.
So why not be that person for others? Smile big, stay cheerful, and make it a habit to seek out solutions instead of dwelling on problems. Rather than reacting impulsively, take a beat and respond thoughtfully. By doing so, you’ll not only brighten your own life but the lives of those around you as well. Trust me, people will be drawn to your rare breed of positivity.
7) Find the Humor in Small Things in Life
Life has a knack for throwing curveballs our way, but amidst the chaos, it’s crucial to find the humor in the small things. It’s like these lights we have in our studio- they brighten our day and bring a lighthearted energy to the room. People are naturally drawn to those who possess a good sense of humor and don’t take life too seriously. Even if you’re not a stand-up comedian, it’s beneficial to sprinkle a little humor into mundane situations to make life more enjoyable.
Cultivating mindfulness and being present in the moment is a fantastic way to spot those fleeting moments of joy that can diffuse stress on even the busiest of days. Happiness is a state of mind, and we have the power to create it within ourselves. A well-timed joke or playful comment has the ability to bring people together and make even the most mundane tasks more enjoyable. As Ella Wheeler Wilcox once said, “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.” So let’s choose to laugh and spread joy wherever we go.
8) Become a Lifter
Take a moment to breathe in and make a commitment to yourself – declare it loud and clear that you’re determined to become a “lifter”. Many of us aspire to succeed and naturally anticipate support from others, but do we ever picture ourselves as the ones providing that encouragement? The truth is, every one of us is fighting our own battles, and a simple gesture of kindness can go a long way in healing, uplifting, and connecting with others.
So take the initiative to uplift others and be a problem-solver too. These are the people that are always in demand – the lifters and the problem-solvers. Speaking of problem-solving, there is way less competition in this club, and you’ll always be in high demand because these folks are in the minority. The majority are leaners and complainers. Start being a lifter, and watch your positivity and motivation positively impact those around you.
9) Treat Others With Respect
Treating others with respect is the cardinal rule of social interaction. The Golden and Platinum rules, “treat others as you would like to be treated” and “treat others as they would like to be treated,” respectively, are both valid in their own way. Nevertheless, it’s important to appreciate differences in perspective, religion, and culture when dealing with others who don’t share your viewpoint. Don’t allow prejudice to dictate how you interact with people who don’t look or think like you do.
Maya Angelou, the acclaimed writer, and poet, famously stated that people might forget what you say or do, but they’ll always remember how you make them feel. So, keep that in mind and focus on positive interactions that leave a lasting impression. Don’t judge individuals based on their appearance, race, or ethnicity, rather, approach them like you would with a new book, and look for opportunities to learn from their successes and struggles.
Remember, diversity is the key to progress, and we should celebrate and respect it. It’s the diversity of thoughts, backgrounds, and cultures that fuels creativity and brings about positive change. So, let’s welcome diversity, embrace it, respect others, and thrive in its richness.
10) Develop a Genuine Interest in People, Including Yourself
The future of work is looking a lot more automated than what we’re used to. According to the McKinsey Institute, nearly half of all current work activities have the potential to be automated. And in just a few decades from now, we can expect more than half of today’s job activities to become obsolete. It’s not all doom and gloom, though. As AI takes over many technical tasks, human-centric skills such as empathy, creativity, and agility will become essential for success.
But despite this shift, we seem to be more interested in the latest gadgets than the people around us. The truth is, focusing on technical skills alone just isn’t enough. We need to make learning about people and leadership, communication, and interpersonal skills our top priority. Yes, it’s more challenging than learning how to code, but it’s also a lot more fun.
And don’t forget to set aside time to learn about yourself, too. We live in a world where people know more about their phones than they do about their own strengths and weaknesses. It’s time to change that. So, take a moment to describe ten features of your new phone versus ten of your strengths. Can you do it? It’s time to start taking as much interest in ourselves as we do in technology.
My personal favorite quote by Aristotle sums it up perfectly: “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” By taking the time to learn about ourselves, we can better connect and engage with other people, enhancing our communication, leadership, and interpersonal skills. So, let’s make a genuine interest in people, including ourselves, our top priority in both our personal and professional lives.